"So what do you do all day?"

For those of you that don't get the pleasure of seeing me sitting at my laptop at the local Burgerville, grumbling, frowning, cursing, and drinking way too much Coke, here's a glimpse into my life:

Tuesday, August 26, 2003
8:00 a.m.: Wake up, cursing KLPU for playing something jazzy on clock radio #1.
8:00-8:30 a.m.: Hit snooze an inderminate number of times.
8:30 a.m.: Rouse, wondering why KLPU is playing Billy Joel's Uptown Girl instead of something jazzy.
8:31 a.m.: Realize it's clock radio #2, playing KLOG. Hit snooze.
8:42 a.m.: Grumble at the sounds of something jazzy playing out of synch with something oldies.
8:43 a.m.: Hit snooze on both alarms. Consider getting up.
8:52 a.m.: Savage both alarm clocks for playing two different types of music again. Shut off both alarms.
8:53 a.m.: Turn on computer. Start Up file plays WAKEUP.ASX, a Windows Media playlist of MP3s. Lay back down.
8:54 a.m.: Try to sleep through Shania Twain's Rock This Country. Fail.
8:58 a.m.: Try to sleep through No Doubt's Hey Baby. Fail.
9:00 a.m.: Get up.
9:00-11:15 a.m.: Deal with 14 SWAT playtest comments and 36 emails. Try to figure out why so many people think I need an online pharmacy and a bigger penis. Fail.
11:16 a.m.: Pull on running shorts, t-shirt, and a Cleveland Indians ballcap. Head for the door.
11:16-11:30 a.m.: Stretch, warmup, walk, start run.
11:30 a.m.: Answer cell phone, ringing in the pocket of my sweat shorts.
11:31-11:35 a.m.: Make arrangements for lunch with Officer Doug "Taz" Monge, hostage negotiator, Longview Tactical Response Team, all the while trying to explain why I'm breathing so hard in his ear.
11:36 a.m.: Cut short morning run, head home.
11:40-11:55 a.m.: Shower, shave, and shine. Head to Burgerville to meet Taz. Listen to The Charlie Daniels Band's Greatest Hits CD en route.
12:00 noon: Set up laptop, order a spicy black bean Gardenburger meal. Grumble at the $6.50 it costs me.
12:05-12:10: Pick at my fries while going over the Negotiation section of GURPS SWAT, trying to get my thoughts lined up before Taz arrives. Fail.
12:10 p.m.: Taz arrives.
12:11-1:00 p.m.: Visit with Taz about negotiation techniques, the local entry team, his recent trip to Chicago, and other topics. Find out that the local team now has EMTs training with them for SWAT incidents.
1:01 p.m.: Walk Taz to the Burgerville door; make plans for a ride-along in a week or two.
1:02 p.m.: While walking back to my table, notice two white-shirted fireman-looking guys eating lunch. Remember Taz's comment about EMTs and SWAT. Try to think of a good reason not to pester the two white-shirted guys. Fail.
1:03-1:15 p.m.: Talk with the fire chiefs (formerly "white-shirted guys," see above) about the EMTs. Find out one of them (Dave LaFave) is the chief of the district that's sponsoring the EMTs. Get phone number for the dayroom at the firehouse and permission to name drop.
1:16-1:25 p.m.: Try to decide if I should call the EMT/SWAT guy or not. Vacillate for nine minutes, wasting said time.
1:26-1:30 p.m.: Go outside to avoid the noise, call the dayroom of Cowlitz 2 Fire and Rescue. Talk to someone named John. Leave a message for the EMT/SWAT guy.
1:31-2:00 p.m.: Visit with my sister, who pops into Burgerville during her lunch break.
2:01-2:30 p.m.: Work on final draft of GURPS SWAT until I notice I'm missing info about the Longview team's weapons.
2:31 p.m.: Call Sergeant Koll Mykelbust, Team Leader of the Longview TRT. Leave voice mail.
2:32-3:00 p.m.: Work on final draft of GURPS SWAT until cell phone rings.
3:01-3:05 p.m.: Talk with Sgt. Koll Mykelbust; make plans for lunch on Thursday. Find out Longview now has two motorcycle cops instead of one.
3:06 p.m.: Refill my Coke and go back to work on SWAT.
3:07-4:15 p.m.: Work on final draft of GURPS SWAT.
4:16-4:45 p.m.: Talk with long-time friend, Tom Cramer (yeah, that's a 20-year-old me in the band pictures, playing guitar under all that hair). Order a halibut fish fillet - no fries, no drink. Grumble about the $3.59 it costs.
4:46 p.m.: Seriously consider finding someplace else to sit and write.
4:47-5:04 p.m.: Talk to Burgerville employee, Andrew, about gaming and writing.
5:05 p.m.: Feel mildly bad about the fact that Andrew is now late for his shift.
5:06-5:35 p.m.: Work on final draft of GURPS SWAT.
5:36-5:45 p.m.: Talk to my sister again, who has come back in to buy a bag of frozen chicken fillets. Wonder why.
5:46 p.m.: Stop wondering. Go back to work.
5:47-8:00 p.m.: Work on final draft of GURPS SWAT.
8:01 p.m.: Realize it's 8:01 p.m.
8:01:15 p.m.: Realize it's gotten dark outside.
8:01:30 p.m.: Shut down my laptop and stretch. Spot Andrew headed my way.
8:02-8:05 p.m.: Talk to Burgerville employee, Andrew, about being tired. Try not to take offense when he says: "You look tired. You look like you've been up 24 hours straight."
8:06 p.m.: Pack up, say goodbye to Burgerville employees Andrew, Chelsea, and Cairy. Wave at Stefan from a distance. Drive home, listening to Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing CD.
8:20-8:30 p.m.: Dump all the crap out of my pockets (keys, cash, change, watch, sunglasses, pen, post-it notes, business card, etc.), hook my laptop into my home computer network, boot it up. Go scrounge around in fridge, looking for something good to eat. Fail.
8:30 p.m.: Log into Pyramoo chat to kibitz during Brandon Cope's online cyberpunk SWAT game.
8:31 p.m.: Realize that the GURPS WWII: All the King's Men playtest has started and I have 167 playtest posts to read.
8:32 p.m.: Realize that I have 41 new email messages. Apparently my penis still isn't big enough, but at least my mortgage can be refinanced.
8:33 p.m.: Seriously consider finding a new line of work.
8:34-10:10 p.m.: Work on playtest comments for both King's Men and SWAT, read and reply to emails, and try to keep track of Brandon's online game. Notice I'm very skilled at switching windows in Windows.
10:11 p.m.: Wonder why I'm getting a headache.
10:12-10:22 p.m.: Cook and eat a microwave burrito. Wish I'd put cheese on it first.
10:23-1:00 a.m.: Resume switching windows (see 8:34-10:10 p.m. for details).
1:00 a.m.: Brandon's online game ends. Playtest comments remain.
1:01 a.m.: Send an email to Hans-Christian Vortisch in Germany, asking for help with vehicles and weapons in King's Men.
1:02-1:20 a.m.: Talk on the MOO with Roland Boshnack and Brandon Cope about GURPS SWAT playtest.
1:21-1:30 a.m.: Say goodnight to the guys on the MOO, close up the program. Look at the new playtest comments appearing from gamers in Europe. Post mildly witty replies since I'm too tired to actually write anything sane. Close up the playtest, cursing.
1:31 a.m.: Seriously consider finding a new line of work.
1:32-1:55 a.m.: Send off six more emails; close down Outlook. Deal with another handful of playtest comments.
1:56 a.m.: Set clock radios for 9:00 a.m. and 9:30 a.m.
1:47-2:10 a.m.: Take a hot shower, brush teeth, turn on Clarence Clemon's Peacemaker CD.
2:11-2:45 a.m.: Write this blog entry.
2:46 a.m.: Regret spending half an hour on this blog entry.

From this point forward, things get sketchy. But for the most part, it will probably look something like this:

2:47-3:56 a.m.: Toss and turn, thinking about work, wishing I could sleep.
3:57-8:59 a.m.: Sleep restless sleep of a condemned man. Dream about writing. Subconsciously consider finding a new line of work.
9:00 a.m.: Wake up, cursing KLPU for playing something jazzy on clock radio #1.
9:00:15 a.m.: Wish I'd set the alarm for 10:00.
9:00:18 a.m.: Wish I hadn't stayed up so late, blogging.
9:00:20 a.m.: Hit snooze...