At the Movies

Having had a week or so off, I've been catching up on movies I should have watched earlier. Here's my opinions in a nutshell. Take 'em for what they're worth. :)

The Scorpion King. Decent cinematography and fight scenes. Plot needs work though, and The Rock is just not an actor (especially when trying to look surprised). Between the arrows that hit bad guys and hurl them backward 20 feet into the air, and the stolen scenes from The Sword and the Sorcerer (the harem bit) and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (the rolling gong), I had kind of a hard time getting through the movie. (I'd also like to know how the bad guy lit his swords on fire at the end - were they made of old paint cans and gasoline-soaked rags?) Anyway, if you like Conan and Xena, you'll probably like this. Personally, I would give it about a 4 on a scale of 1-10, except Kelly Hu is awfully dang hot. So for her sake, let's call it a 5. (Are you listening, Kelly? Drop me a line, we'll do lunch!)

Sum of All Fears. Had a hard time getting past the timeline inconsistencies. This is supposed to be a Jack Ryan movie set in 2001, but we've already seen Harrison Ford and Alec Baldwin as older Jack Ryans in the 80s and 90s. That was distracting. Not a bad movie otherwise (especially if you've not seen the others). Still worth watching, though. I give it a 6. Maybe more, if I liked Ben Affleck. (Are you listening, Ben? Drop me a line, we'll write a script together)

Signs. M. Knight Shaymalan's excellent Mel Gibson flick. I enjoyed this one a lot. Don't have too much bad to say about it, actually. Even Shaymalan's cameo performance in it was decent (unlike Stephen King's horrific cameos in his own movies!) This one gets an 8.

The Bourne Identity. I still can't get into Matt Damon, especially as a supposedly top-notch agent, etc. I read the books (all three), and he just didn't live up to Jason Bourne, IMHO. It was, however, still a good movie. Weak ending, but otherwise not bad. Wish it hadn't deviated from the novels so much, but what can ya do. I still give this one a 6.5.

Driven. I like Stallone as much as the next guy (especially now that he's getting older), but this movie was just bad. The plot was contrived and convoluted, and way too much time was spent showing totally worthless crap before the races. If you want to see a good race movie, go get the perennial Days of Thunder and leave this one on the shelf. It merits a 3... maybe a 4 at best.

XXX. I've never been a big Vin Diesel fan, really, until I saw him on Conan O'Brien, admitting to being a roleplayer back in the day (apparently he played D&D a lot - talked about his fighter, and more). So his geekdom, and willingness to admit it, endeared me to him a little. Otherwise, I doubt I would have picked this movie up at all. Having said that, it wasn't half bad. Loaded with action and special effects, and weak on plot, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I'll give geeky AD&D-playing Vin a 7 for this one.

So... that's my recent movie watching binge in a nutshell. Feel free to disagree. :)